On this special Mother’s Day, Tiffany interviewed Ruth Kim, the founder of Backed by Women.
Ruth is a powerhouse of energy and love. Dominant in the masculine sense of productivity and efficiency, she also fosters a unique feminine side fueled by desire, connection, and intuition.
This interview dissects the 5 values of Backed By Women and how it came to be.
May 14 @ Soho, New York City
T: So what I hope to better understand is what fuels a founder of a company, someone with a core mission. I want to understand the how. How did this all start?
R: Just about 10 months ago, I experienced a span of 2 weeks, of multiple moms, who needed a trusted source in figuring out what’s best for their child. “Is this the right thing for my kid, is this normal?” A lot of stress coming from the mom and rightly so, because there isn’t a trusted source that says “You are going to be okay. Your child is perfectly normal or perfect in your right and you’re doing the best in all that you can.” So many mothers with tears in their eyes, weeping, because it’s so hard when trying to figure out that there might be something different with your child.
I want to be able to support women with children to be able to have a trusted source and get coached so they can make really great decisions for their kids and they themselves become the brilliant for their family. Then, I had this idea, Mommy Concierge.
We have women who just want to be connected, known, heard and also supported in actualizing their gifts, brilliance, and power.
T: There’s so much room for actual internal shifts to happen once we realize our potential.
R: Right. Historically, it was women who taught other women how to become a woman. It was through connection that women became women and mothers. We don’t technically have that anymore.
One of the things we do as women is pretend on the outside, and what happens on the inside, is we disconnect and we isolate.
I wanted a platform where we don’t have to do it by ourselves, in isolation. As women, we need connection in order to thrive. We need other women to help us become the woman we want to be.
That is one of the nutrients that is essential to becoming a woman, connection with other women and working out life together.
When I was thinking about my own journey, my mother by the time I was 8 was terminally ill. So at 8 years old, you are at the precipice of becoming a woman, I didn’t have anybody. But God’s good, right?! Providing boat loads of women pouring out whatever they had, everything and anything they had. So I can see what it is to become a woman in every step of the way.
All of those women were mothers as well.
In thinking about my company and the organization that I’m creating, I was backed by multitudes of women.
There’s no other way that I am the person that I am today without decades of backing.
The company that I’ve launched is Backed By Women. We are talking about coaching, support, community, connection for any stage of womanhood, whether you are just beginning to figure it out or entering a new phase. Whether in career, relationships, health and wellness, motherhood, in all of that, we have women who are willing to stand with you and connect with you and create community with you so that you are not alone.
T: I’d love to get into the next phase of this interview which is “What are the 5 values?” This is going to come as a process and unraveling. We start with 1 and then we see where the flow takes us.
R: I think the root of all of it is Love. Truly
I think when women back other women, it is not with any sort of ego, it is a love for a sister, a love for another woman who’s on their own journey. That’s where the richness comes in. It’s out of love. That kind of connection.
T: The foundation is definitely rooted by love and it’s a constant backing. So it starts from that internal source, that power. And where does it go next?
R: I think the next value is ultimately Surrender.
I used to get mad at that word a lot and I’m learning a new interpretation of it, that actually gets to the root of what it is to be a woman. Brene Brown talks about surrender and vulnerability. Coming from a place of hurt, those words will really piss me off. But coming from a place of love and connection, surrender is the easiest path to stay in connection. You don’t have to fight. You just let whatever it is out. Let it go. Be a witness to and by. The surrender that comes from “Okay I have to give up one way of doing life.” In the past, I would have fought and made it extremely difficult for myself. Spend a lot of energy being mad, frustrated and creating a lot of emotional mess. So this time, like when I broke my foot, I was like “Okay, I don’t have to fight.” I can alter the way I move from point A to B and still feel good in the middle of a potentially trying situation.
T: There’s a lot that happens when we can allow ourselves the space to be still.
R: I think my natural self is incredibly busy, busy because I can. We take for granted the amount of energy, electricity we generate. I now know that I have an enormous amount of energy, ENORMOUS! And God and the universe is asking me to stop, there’s a lot of will that just had to lay down.
And just be and surrender to that moment.
T: Yes, Love and Surrender is fundamental. This is the part where I want you to feel into where Backed by Women is going. Where you want to drive it to become. The third value is a good transition period to start to think about that.
R: Ultimately when women know better, we do better. And when we deeply know the way to connect to women, we do better. All of us win and all of us are also more brilliant together in connection. When that happens, we expand our impact.
T: You want there to be concrete evidence and not only that, but an affirmation that comes from within. Collectively for all women, and not just from the power woman.
R: Yes, and that happens in Connection.
I talked about how I’ve been backed by a multitude of women and the vision is for myself and many other women to pay it forward. When we pay it forward, there’s a level of power, grit, a level of truth that is undeniable as we have been the recipient of the enormous gift of connection. So when we pay it forward, we make room for more women to have the kind of backing as we become the best versions of ourselves as women. It really is that YOU have a gift, each woman has a gift, their own genius, brilliance that emerges through connection with other women.
T: There’s a definite flow of having you say Love, Surrender, Connection. What’s coming up for me in my head is the word Feminine. A lot of women I feel aren’t very connected with their feminine. It’s a masculine world out there. I’d love to hear more about what feminine means in how you see it and the context of how your business is run by the feminine and what that would look like.
R: I’ve been in the industry of the masculine, for the better part of almost 20 years. This experience in launching this business has quite the different feel, as it has been birthed through what feels good, the feminine. The feminine is actually quite expansive, can include a lot without having as many agendas that are planned to the second.
At Backed by Women, we create packages, circles, webinars, seminars, that are driven by the women that are on our platform who have a desire to do something, say something, change an aspect of the world.
If it feels good, we do it. If it brings more connection, we do it. If it brings more joy, we do it. It’s the feminine. Its unending. It’s kind of like love. The love that we have is infinite. There’s always more. In the feminine, there always a way to figure it out that feels good. There’s a spark of genius, abundance, creation, inclusiveness.
T: I’m hearing that feminine is like creation and intuition. And it can’t happen alone. There’s this power that is rooted in what you call Love and Surrender and just following what it is that drives us to find the most creative solution, to go for our desire, to stay connected, and also have it feel good. There’s so much juice there. What do you feel is the last piece that really ties it together in the end?
R: Well there’s freedom, and in freedom there’s power. In our purpose, we find freedom, power, creativity, and we also find abundance within and we are able to expand.
T: So gathering all of those 5 elements, with love, surrender, connection, feminine, and with purpose. What do you feel is your mission statement?
Together we cocreated the Backed by Women Value Statement
Rooted in LOVE, we allow ourselves to SURRENDER in CONNECTION with other women to discover our FEMININE power within and be fueled by our PURPOSE to change the world.
Thank you Ruth for your creation, devotion, and relentless drive in creating a platform that can connect women to their brilliance. At any phase of life, we have the power to create a life we are proud of. We all hold pivotal keys to this movement of empowering each other to become our true and most vibrant selves. And we can’t do it alone.
Written by Tiffany of Remind Me Values, Originally posted on remindmevalues.com.