Wake Up

Wake up

I wake up at the break of dawn

Full pulsing warm wet

I am reminded of the work being done during slumber.

Deep dreams of magic, where spirits and souls play

Deep magic where the things without words, those utterances take shape and form into words that strum the chords and echo throughout my body.

I wake up at the break of dawn

Full pulsing warm wet

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Aftermath of Heartbreak

aftermath

Aftermath of Heartbreak by Ruth Kim

Aftermath

aftermath. You know when you’ve cried so much your teeth hurt, your eyes are swollen shut and you just can’t breathe anymore? Like you’ve cried the tears of all the unshed tears, your own and generations of women in my lineage. You wake up with the morning dew of all those expressed emotions you can’t take back. Because you know, there is no turning back to that way of love and life anymore. #spiritualawakening#lifeinthecrucible

I had a thought this morning. That I’ve spent most of my life trying to belong, be loved by someone else, family, friends, etc. I would do crazy things to belong and to be loved. Over giving, over eager, over the top whatever it was to belong and be loved. Then add on to that all the ways I acquiesced, agreed to things that didn’t feel good or the thing I knew in my gut it wasn’t going to turn out well and did it anyway. I even made this over giving and acquiescing a career for almost 20 years because a lifetime hobby wasn’t enough. And guess what. None of it got me anything remotely close to what I wanted. Because the thing I wanted didn’t live over there with someone else. The thing I wanted lives inside of me. No one can fill that.

The thing I couldn’t wrap my heart around was belonging to myself, loving myself. That. That is the best place to belong, be loved. Ain’t nobody gonna love me, like I do. Easier said than done, for sure. AND isn’t this the work for all of us?

Be kind; for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. – Socrates

This kindness Socrates speaks about comes from being kind to yourself. Loving yourself. Knowing that you belong to you. There is nothing for me to “get” that I don’t already have within myself: love and belonging.

#therevelation

A new foundation. Feels naked. Feels raw. Feels right.

Aftermath

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Dear God

dear god

Dear God

How many days do I start with— Dear God?

How many times do I utter those words?

I remember reading Judy Blume‘ s Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret as a kid.

Sometimes I feel like her.

That innocence and  curiosity with an edge of agitation. You know that one?

Some days I feel joy and abundance.

Most days in utter desperation of not knowing what the future holds, carrying sin’s in my heart, and just plain old humility of my humanity.

Dear God, I pray. Dear God, I cry.

Dear God, I whisper in the dark recesses of my heart.

Some days I forget the gravity of uttering the words— Dear God.

Today, I am aware of the magnitude of calling your name, conversing with You, communing with You.

The God of my understanding is omniscient and He: put me together in spirit and in form, put me on a path to know Him, put me on a path that I may see His love for me and the ones I love.

Whether in joy or sorrow, victory or utterly devastated, You show up in kindness and love.

The chambers of my heart echo songs like these:

Nothing can separate me from Your love

You know the plan for me: plans to prosper me

It is written in my heart to seek and to know of Your love.

Dear God, may I see you and know you today.

~Ruth Kim

Coach with Ruth Today (click link to book a free session)

Here is a message from Ruth:

“I love coaching mothers with school aged children. My educational background is in Social Work and early childhood. I’ve been in teaching and education for the last 16 years. The thing I want to offer is wisdom and guidance as your child grows and develops on the path that is right for you and your family. I offer professional advice regarding schooling and education, advocating for your child, understanding if your child is GT as well as any questions you make have about your child’s development.”

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Introducing Coffee Talk Coaching with Nancy Coleman

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At Backed by Women, we are thrilled to introduce Coffee Talk Coaching with Nancy Coleman

” Nancy Coleman at Coffee Talk Coaching is one of the most skilled coaches in navigating the complexities of the mind and heart. Book a session with her and do the work to set your soul free.”- Ruth Kim, Founder of Backed by Women

Nancy recently launched her business and this is what she has to say about her vision:

“A force greater than ourselves is always included in my coffee talk coaching; always. ITS power is beyond a human power and together we take the journey of recognizing that we are not alone and healing happens in connection. I believe in the power of the dismantling of a false reality where the noise and unnecessary suffering can stop; where making a single shift in perception and perspective changes everything in an instant; and a spiritual experience can occur.

Sometimes we think that there should be an easier way for all this to happen but I believe it requires a sincere effort, a desire so deep that you will do whatever it takes to get free. I made this vow to God over and over and I became constantly faced with the challenge of doing the work to be true to my vow.

 

We all have the conditions of our lives that created our belief systems and resulting behaviors and emotional reactions. What I found is that no person could do the work for me. No therapist or bodyworker could help me release myself into freeing My mind. I found that it was me and God together — with guidance from teachers — but my teachers could only guide me in the direction I needed to go but couldn’t do the actual work for me.

I find that not everyone is wired to want to do this kind of work. I am.  And I love working with people who are ready to roll their sleeves up and do the work. I am only a guide, you will do the work required for yourself. If this is what you want, I’m in.”

Learn more about Backed by Women’s Services here