You still want to be friends?

friends

You still want to be friends?

You and me,

we’ve done a lot together.

Explored some unfamiliar territories,

stretched to some unknowing edges.

We let out the dark parts. The raw parts.

You and me,

said some things,

Love and hate,

To connect and disconnect.

Felt some things,

both ecstasy and that dark primal heat.

Consumed and drowning in pleasure,

tearing at our hearts raw and beating.

Discomfort. For sure.

Boundaries crossed. Definitely.

Violations. Check.

And is there love?

You and me,

is it possible to be friends?

Even after all that?

I wasn’t good,

I wasn’t close to good.

I was too much and not enough,

I was all consuming and retracted.

I followed the rules and broke them all.

I let you in my heart and pushed you away.

I was honest and manipulative.

I was controlling and free.

I was out of control and tightly zipped.

I was light and dark.

Is this friendship?

I told you everything. Unfiltered.

The good, bad, provoking, tantalizing.

All of it from the inside out.

I opened up myself in dark places I rarely go.

Untethered and angry.

Messy crazy unbuttoned and real.

Even after all that.

You still want to be friends?

I’m challenged by that admission.

I’m confronted to know that there is enough love between us to have.

That I can be that awful and you still want to be friends.

I am now sobering up.

Embarrassed that I couldn’t see that you didn’t want me that intimately.

Terrifically humiliated by my behavior. And shocked.

It leads me to sit with myself.

Do I have enough love for myself to forgive myself and stay connected?

Is this my ego at play that I can’t bend towards loving these parts of me?

My own admission that I have lots of for love you but I don’t have enough love for myself yet. That. Breaks my heart.

So for now.

I’m working on befriending myself.

Figuring out how to be friends with everyone while I’m loving myself in places that feel unlovable.

Bending my ego, wrestling it down to allow for my imperfections, darkness, flaws to be loved.

 

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Dear God

dear god

Dear God

How many days do I start with— Dear God?

How many times do I utter those words?

I remember reading Judy Blume‘ s Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret as a kid.

Sometimes I feel like her.

That innocence and  curiosity with an edge of agitation. You know that one?

Some days I feel joy and abundance.

Most days in utter desperation of not knowing what the future holds, carrying sin’s in my heart, and just plain old humility of my humanity.

Dear God, I pray. Dear God, I cry.

Dear God, I whisper in the dark recesses of my heart.

Some days I forget the gravity of uttering the words— Dear God.

Today, I am aware of the magnitude of calling your name, conversing with You, communing with You.

The God of my understanding is omniscient and He: put me together in spirit and in form, put me on a path to know Him, put me on a path that I may see His love for me and the ones I love.

Whether in joy or sorrow, victory or utterly devastated, You show up in kindness and love.

The chambers of my heart echo songs like these:

Nothing can separate me from Your love

You know the plan for me: plans to prosper me

It is written in my heart to seek and to know of Your love.

Dear God, may I see you and know you today.

~Ruth Kim

Coach with Ruth Today (click link to book a free session)

Here is a message from Ruth:

“I love coaching mothers with school aged children. My educational background is in Social Work and early childhood. I’ve been in teaching and education for the last 16 years. The thing I want to offer is wisdom and guidance as your child grows and develops on the path that is right for you and your family. I offer professional advice regarding schooling and education, advocating for your child, understanding if your child is GT as well as any questions you make have about your child’s development.”

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Breaking the Rules

breaking rules

Breaking the Rules by Ruth Kim

Today is usually a really hard day for me. And it wasn’t. That’s kind of the inappropriate thing to say on the day your mom’s passing. I’m breaking the rules.

I’ve been exploring this thing called feelings. Because I tend to have a lot of them. Whether I tell you or not! It’s shocking to me every time someone says that they can feel my internal state of emotions. The very thing I’ve worked on all of my life to keep buttoned up, manage. Only letting some people experience the a sliver of this rich emotional being inside.

These feelings. All these emotions. It’s all love. Love stuck inside. I live in regret and grief when I keep myself buttoned up. I kept myself buttoned up like all of Queen Victoria’s dresses. Decades of regret become decades of grief… of love unexpressed.

So today, I unbutton some buttons. Let my feelings emotions and thoughts out. And wow. There are a lot of them. They don’t make sense. They contradict. They are just what they are. And it’s ok. I don’t have to make sense of them. Nor does anyone else. I can let myself out.

And I’m realizing that the more I come out and experience the abundance of love to be had. The less I grieve.

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It’s been a year since the launch of Backed By Women

It’s been a year since the launch of Backed By Women. What a year it has been. I’ve been through so much this year. It has been a year of being Backed by Women at every turn. Here are the top 7:

  1. Risk:

Launching a business born out of a deep longing to pay it forward, the abundance of love poured into my life. I have been blessed to have more women in my life to call sisters. I would not be the woman I am today without the connection, support and backing of all the women in my life.

This platform is to provide a place where women around the world, all stages of womanhood can come to get connected to not only survive, but also thrive together through coaching, teaching and community. This is where women are backed by women who have walked in the same path and have wisdom, insight and love to share. A risk on my behalf in offering the greatest gift as women, guideposts and sisterhood among the process of becoming, woman.

  1. Remembering:

Through this year, I had to remember to love myself on those cold dark days where it was just me and all the women in my heart reminding me that I’m worth loving. That I’m the one that needs to love herself more. Such a hard thing to hear and to do… and yet, my life isn’t the same without it. Those voices heard in my heart to take care of myself, to love myself enough. I have women like:

  • Marla: Stay true to yourself!
  • Emma: You have a lot of love to give!
  • Dieniz: Let’s partner and do this together!
  • Becky: We learn and grow in connection!
  • Taisha: Stay connected!

So many others who have partnered with me and are dreaming with me.

 

  1. Rejection:

Nothing is worth anything than the risk to having it. Sometimes you face the response of a no. Feel all there is to feel. And realize that something may not be for you. It’s all a blessing in disguise. As Rev Jo says, “Rejection is God’s protection.” The thing I’m learning is to stay open in the midst of the no because you get to see what else is available, the blessings that you can have.

 

  1. Resigned:

I resigned as a leader in education. I’ve never quit anything in a formal capacity. Never. I’m the one that sees it through, to the end. I broke a rule. I broke a pattern of being. I can say that there is freedom on this side of knowing. My body and my health cannot be sacrificed for anything or anyone any longer. I am now resigned to living a life that is good to my body, my health and my soul.

 

  1. Relationships:

I’ve learned it feels better to do the thing that is true to who you are. For some people, fighting feels so good. For me, fighting is the antithesis of feeling good. I think it’s because I’m a gentle yet fierce creature. It’s my job to teach others how to be in relationship with me. It’s been eye opening on how much more I can open when I people know this about me!

 

  1. Relocating

I’ve relocated home. Home is where I feel good. It’s not where I have to work or because my family is there. Home is where I come to heal, rest, come alive, and get nourished. After 13 years of living in NYC, I’ve come to terms that I need a slower and gentler pace to feel good. I’ve relocated to northern California, in a valley between mountains with rivers that run through it. Living here, I’m firmly reminded that relocating to where it feels good was the best decision I’ve made in my life.

 

  1. Restoration

4 months before relocating, I had been run down with some sort of flu after flu. Doctor after doctor said each time that I hadn’t rested enough and got sick, again. Month after month, struggling to rest, struggling to work, struggling to exist. I spent 3 weeks sleeping, eating and hydrating. Moved to northern California and rested some more. Living from a place of rest. My health in 2 weeks of moving, dramatically changed. I no longer had the flu. I no longer need thyroid medicine. I feel so much better!!!

 

None of this is possible without the women in my life supporting me from risk to reward, from suffering to restoration. I used to live life having to line all my ducks in a row to feel like I’m safe. Those ducks were my safety net and I did it by myself. I’ve come to a deep realization that the safety net isn’t ME or any ducks! My safety net are the women who support me with deep connection, telling the truth, sharing the overflow of love and a whole lot of fun.  This is my hope for all of us at Backed By Women and all of us on the path of becoming women, one day at a time.

 

A moment of gratitude for those of you supporting me, us, this endeavor to change the tide on how we relate as women. Thank you for your support, your love, your attention. We aren’t connected here by mistake. There is something true, undeniable, and important here. Thank you for recognizing us and sharing your likes and posts. Keepem’ comin’! We have more comin’!

Revolutionary Moms: Redefining Motherhood

Meet Brenda, one of our resident Coaches! She is a Transformational Coach for moms and an Orgasmic Meditation Trainer. She guides women to live more authentically, have better sex and more freedom. She’s a mother of two, a former middle school teacher, and has been on a 10-year journey of claiming her power as a woman and mother.

In her latest article, Brenda shares her experience and 2 other moms experiences- A MUST READ!

Check Out Brenda’s Article Here!

Also Check out the lessons Brenda has learned from Chorizo here Chorizo Lessons Learned

Feminine Fun & Freedom

There is a strong current of energy that circulates internally and magnifies within a space of women who are unapologetically living from the core of their being. We amplify each other when we feel safe to express ourselves through our heart, our soul, our dance. We give ourselves and each other an allowance of beauty to just be. There is no room for self doubt here. We know true power when we thrive in unity and connection. It’s in this sacred space, we get free.

Join us women from for our very first Feminine Fun and Freedom Gathering, a full night and day celebration to bring out and reveal who you are, who you really are.

Drop in and call forth your vulnerable essence, your powerful creative genius, your fierce beast, your inner sensual Goddess self! Connect and nurture your femininity and bring her out. All parts of you are welcome here!

Our event is located in a luxurious Silk temple in Marina Del ray, home to our beautiful host Alorah Inanna, Goddess of Wildness and Permission. She will be engaging with every single Goddess, bringing you into the divine and spiritual experience of being wrapped in beautiful silk where you feel love in every tuck. We will then have a women circle for story telling and shares facilitated by Values & Embodiment Coach, Tiffany Lin. Followed by a grounding cacao ceremony and sound healing led by shamanic healer Dr. Marie Mbouni.

At night, we sleep and dream in connection on silk bedding sheets. With healthy breakfast options, we open the day to wind dancing by the beach. Alorah will be recording and photographing the whole experience and sharing the photos as a celebratory remembrance of you in your element.

As we learn experientially what surrender means, see yourself blossom from night and into the day. Let go of who you thought you had to be and transform into who you truly are.

Info About our Facilitators
We are 3 generations. 3 races. 3 cultures. Here to serve love and dive deep into uncovering what the Feminine really is.

Alorah Inanna
Discovering language before sexual shame, and with nearly 30 years of experience embodying the Deep Divine Feminine, Alorah Inanna’s presence alone gives permission for play and wildness to come through. Known for her Authenticity, Sensuality & Radical Wisdom, Alorah call us “Out of our Story and Into our Glory”, inspiring us to be Expressive and Free!

Goddess of Wildness and Permission
www.alorahinanna.com
IG: @alorahinanna

Dr. Marie Mbouni
Dr. Marie Mbouni’s experience is integrated as they come. As a Practicing Medical Doctor, Full Spectrum Healer, Womb Wisdom Alchemist, Cosmic Tantram Sound, Shamanic, and Energy Medicine, Ceremonialist (imagine saying that in an interview…) All these techniques help her share her Medicine which is LOVE. She offers transformational experiences for change makers and leaders wanting to step into their power and purpose.

Founder at Remembering Love: Conscoiusness, Sexuality, Sovereignty, Success
www.mariembouni.com
IG: @dr.mariembouni

Tiffany Lin
Tiffany is a traveling Embodiment and Empowerment Coach who’s purpose is to change the culture of how we connect and relate with our body and to each other. Founder of reMINDmeValues, intuitive healer, Orgasmic Meditation Trainer, and writer, her pursuit of living a feminine life is inspired by the amazing people she meets along her journey. She coaches women to live and freely express themselves through words and action.

Founder of reMINDmeValues
www.remindmevalues.com
View at Medium.com
IG: @remindmevalues @tifflin123


Purchase your ticket here!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/feminine-fun-and-freedom-tickets-37057961360

Ticket Price Includes:
– Silk dress with custom wrapping and blessing
– Cacao Ceremony
– Sound Healing
– Coaching Circle
– Custom set of reMINDmebands
– Overnight lodging (silk sheets)
– Healthy Breakfast
– Wind Dancing at the beach with personal shots/professional photography
– Sisterhood + Connection

Professional Cuddling with Dieniz

Paying to get cuddles is not as unusual as some might think. It is, in fact, a real business built to help people who feel lonely, depressed, or simply in need of an extra cuddle from a stranger.

You can look at it as an upgrade to the “free hugs” you sometimes see on the streets. The difference is there’s a registered company behind it, an hourly rate, and even a certified diploma.

The company, Cuddlist says: “Touch plays an important role in building social connections and most of us don’t get enough touch in our lives.”

How can cuddling with a stranger help combat loneliness and feel better with others? I decided to give it a try myself and find out.

This is my video experience with Dieniz, who is a “professional cuddlist.” I had a one-hour session with her and she introduced me to this entirely new world of “cuddling.”

Despite mine lasting one hour, a session can go up to six hours. It is all up to the client, together with deciding what to do and how to structure the time.

Cuddlist charges £80 per hour. If you’re interested in trying, Dieniz also offered a discounted rate for Business Insider readers.

This article was originally published on Businessinsider.com

Book excerpt from Bad Mamma by Louise

*Bad Mamma* – a book excerpt from Louise, one of the women we BACK!

Sundays are tricky.
Or they used to be.
It took me to ever for ever to figure that out. In the beginning I thought it was because the kids had been at my place for seven days and I was tired and they wouldn’t sleep and that is a great story.
One of many one could tell of Sunday nights.

My understanding of it is different now though.

This came to my attention on a Sunday night at 9:30 PM I was on the call that I really wanted to be on and so “of course” my kids for a bickering about how much light should be in the room, who was talking more, who started it, and that was being disruptive with the other one that was telling them to slow down and be quiet I was he in getting ear plugs and dripping saltwater in sore eyes, basically I was not able to be on the call at all and it lasted only an hour.

And I got super annoyed like, “okay I just needed to be in this call for an hour can you guys just shut up and go to sleep already I mean what’s the problem”. okay so I didn’t actually say that that’s how I felt. And I was so on my way into blaming them and being annoyed at them and going into the story of “I will never have what I want”. And when something is really important you sure as hell will show up and disappeared for me. I realise this is not a pretty-momma story. And I think for a while I had a story about not being a very great mum. It runs in the family. As the best stories do. I just took me a while to see how I was creating my story in my own life.

But then I remembered but a friend of mine Lucy said just a few days before “be mindful of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory”.

Because the truth of the matter is that I hated Sunday nights. I really hated them. And I was working really hard to not see why. Because Monday mornings my kids go to my ex-husband, and I won’t see them for a week. And really that is very painful to me. I miss them. A lot. But it’s just too painful to feel those feelings. So I unconsciously created a little drama Sunday nights and conflicts with them or between them so that I would get annoyed with them and protect myself from feeling the hurt and the longing, the sadness of missing them, the shame of being the one who filed for divorce, the one who created their life like this. That responsibility still feels pretty heavy on my shoulders. But I’m done. So done. Protecting myself from feeling the pain and losing out on how much I love them and how much it sucks on a Sunday night.
I am done blaming them for not getting what I want. Because it’s not true. And. I will get what I want. I will get what I need and they are not the ones who stand in my way. I am. Or. I was.
No more bad mamma stories.

I’m gonna allow myself to feel the hurt, the yearning, the love.
Because that’s all it really is, it’s love.
I love them so much it hurts.
And thats ok.
Now.

Values Dissect with Ruth Kim, Founder of Backed By Women

On this special Mother’s Day, Tiffany interviewed Ruth Kim, the founder of Backed by Women.

Ruth is a powerhouse of energy and love. Dominant in the masculine sense of productivity and efficiency, she also fosters a unique feminine side fueled by desire, connection, and intuition.

This interview dissects the 5 values of Backed By Women and how it came to be.


May 14 @ Soho, New York City

T: So what I hope to better understand is what fuels a founder of a company, someone with a core mission. I want to understand the how. How did this all start?  

R: Just about 10 months ago, I experienced a span of 2 weeks, of multiple moms, who needed a trusted source in figuring out what’s best for their child. “Is this the right thing for my kid, is this normal?” A lot of stress coming from the mom and rightly so, because there isn’t a trusted source that says “You are going to be okay. Your child is perfectly normal or perfect in your right and you’re doing the best in all that you can.” So many mothers with tears in their eyes, weeping, because it’s so hard when trying to figure out that there might be something different with your child.

I want to be able to support women with children to be able to have a trusted source and get coached so they can make really great decisions for their kids and they themselves become the brilliant for their family. Then, I had this idea, Mommy Concierge.

We have women who just want to be connected, known, heard and also supported in actualizing their gifts, brilliance, and power.

T: There’s so much room for actual internal shifts to happen once we realize our potential.

R: Right. Historically, it was women who taught other women how to become a woman. It was through connection that women became women and mothers. We don’t technically have that anymore.

One of the things we do as women is pretend on the outside, and what happens on the inside, is we disconnect and we isolate.

I wanted a platform where we don’t have to do it by ourselves, in isolation. As women, we need connection in order to thrive. We need other women to help us become the woman we want to be.

That is one of the nutrients that is essential to becoming a woman, connection with other women and working out life together.

When I was thinking about my own journey, my mother by the time I was 8 was terminally ill. So at 8 years old, you are at the precipice of becoming a woman, I didn’t have anybody. But God’s good, right?! Providing boat loads of women pouring out whatever they had, everything and anything they had. So I can see what it is to become a woman in every step of the way.

All of those women were mothers as well.

In thinking about my company and the organization that I’m creating, I was backed by multitudes of women. 

There’s no other way that I am the person that I am today without decades of backing.

The company that I’ve launched is Backed By Women. We are talking about coaching, support, community, connection for any stage of womanhood, whether you are just beginning to figure it out or entering a new phase. Whether in career, relationships, health and wellness, motherhood, in all of that, we have women who are willing to stand with you and connect with you and create community with you so that you are not alone.

T: I’d love to get into the next phase of this interview which is “What are the 5 values?” This is going to come as a process and unraveling. We start with 1 and then we see where the flow takes us.

R:  I think the root of all of it is Love. Truly

I think when women back other women, it is not with any sort of ego, it is a love for a sister, a love for another woman who’s on their own journey. That’s where the richness comes in. It’s out of love. That kind of connection. 

T: The foundation is definitely rooted by love and it’s a constant backing. So it starts from that internal source, that power. And where does it go next?

R: I think the next value is ultimately Surrender.

I used to get mad at that word a lot and I’m learning a new interpretation of it, that actually gets to the root of what it is to be a woman. Brene Brown talks about surrender and vulnerability. Coming from a place of hurt, those words will really piss me off. But coming from a place of love and connection, surrender is the easiest path to stay in connection. You don’t have to fight. You just let whatever it is out. Let it go. Be a witness to and by. The surrender that comes from “Okay I have to give up one way of doing life.” In the past, I would have fought and made it extremely difficult for myself. Spend a lot of energy being mad, frustrated and creating a lot of emotional mess. So this time, like when I broke my foot, I was like “Okay, I don’t have to fight.” I can alter the way I move from point A to B and still feel good in the middle of a potentially trying situation.

 T: There’s a lot that happens when we can allow ourselves the space to be still.

R: I think my natural self is incredibly busy, busy because I can. We take for granted the amount of energy, electricity we generate. I now know that I have an enormous amount of energy, ENORMOUS! And God and the universe is asking me to stop, there’s a lot of will that just had to lay down.

And just be and surrender to that moment.

T: Yes, Love and Surrender is fundamental. This is the part where I want you to feel into where Backed by Women is going. Where you want to drive it to become. The third value is a good transition period to start to think about that.

R: Ultimately when women know better, we do better. And when we deeply know the way to connect to women, we do better. All of us win and all of us are also more brilliant together in connection. When that happens, we expand our impact.

T: You want there to be concrete evidence and not only that, but an affirmation that comes from within. Collectively for all women, and not just from the power woman.

R: Yes, and that happens in Connection.

I talked about how I’ve been backed by a multitude of women and the vision is for myself and many other women to pay it forward. When we pay it forward, there’s a level of power, grit, a level of truth that is undeniable as we have been the recipient of the enormous gift of connection. So when we pay it forward, we make room for more women to have the kind of backing as we become the best versions of ourselves as women. It really is that YOU have a gift, each woman has a gift, their own genius, brilliance that emerges through connection with other women.

T: There’s a definite flow of having you say Love, Surrender, Connection. What’s coming up for me in my head is the word Feminine. A lot of women I feel aren’t very connected with their feminine. It’s a masculine world out there. I’d love to hear more about what feminine means in how you see it and the context of how your business is run by the feminine and what that would look like.

R: I’ve been in the industry of the masculine, for the better part of almost 20 years. This experience in launching this business has quite the different feel, as it has been birthed through what feels good, the feminine. The feminine is actually quite expansive, can include a lot without having as many agendas that are planned to the second.

At Backed by Women, we create packages, circles, webinars, seminars, that are driven by the women that are on our platform who have a desire to do something, say something, change an aspect of the world.

If it feels good, we do it. If it brings more connection, we do it. If it brings more joy, we do it. It’s the feminine. Its unending. It’s kind of like love. The love that we have is infinite. There’s always more. In the feminine, there always a way to figure it out that feels good. There’s a spark of genius, abundance, creation, inclusiveness.

T: I’m hearing that feminine is like creation and intuition. And it can’t happen alone. There’s this power that is rooted in what you call Love and Surrender and just following what it is that drives us to find the most creative solution, to go for our desire, to stay connected, and also have it feel good. There’s so much juice there. What do you feel is the last piece that really ties it together in the end?

R:  Well there’s freedom, and in freedom there’s power. In our purpose, we find freedom, power, creativity, and we also find abundance within and we are able to expand.

T: So gathering all of those 5 elements, with love, surrender, connection, feminine, and with purpose. What do you feel is your mission statement?

Together we cocreated the Backed by Women Value Statement

Rooted in LOVE, we allow ourselves to SURRENDER in CONNECTION with other women to discover our FEMININE power within and be fueled by our PURPOSE to change the world.

Thank you Ruth for your creation, devotion, and relentless drive in creating a platform that can connect women to their brilliance. At any phase of life, we have the power to create a life we are proud of. We all hold pivotal keys to this movement of empowering each other to become our true and most vibrant selves. And we can’t do it alone.

Written by Tiffany of Remind Me Values, Originally posted on remindmevalues.com.

Prendete – Closed

Únete a nosotros en este evento para que te prendas en una noche de diversión. Este evento es una oportunidad de expresarte en un espacio sano y afirmativo.

La facilitadora guía a los participantes en 3 juegos de comunicación. Tu puedes jugar al nivel que se siente cómodo para ti. No tienes que hacer o decir algo que no se siente bien en el momento, y tampoco tienes que contestar preguntas si no quieres.

En fin, la pasamos bien, somos refrescantemente honestos y todos se van prendidos.

Los tres juegos están diseñados para educar sobre la Meditación Orgásmica (OM)- una práctica consiente que esta impactando al mundo por una década!

La práctica ha apoyado a miles de personas solteras y parejas a tender man conexión y intimidad en sus vidas. Marie Claire nombro la practica de OM la práctica mas caliente en la cuidad de Nueva York.

Es un cambio refrescante de los eventos típicos o la escena de un bar.

Lo que descubres sobre ti mismo/a te puede sorprender!

Es increíble que tanta conexión puedes sentir en una hora- aunque es en un salón virtual con personas extrañas- cuando somos honestos y vulnerables.

Al fin de el evento, te informaremos sobre como puedes aprender la práctica de Meditación Orgásmica y otras oportunidades para mas conexión en tu vida.

El ambiente es abierto a todas personas y es una invitación a que juegues y sobrepases tus limitaciones en un modo que se siente divertido y rico.

Muchas personas crecen y sienten inspiración para descubrir mas sobre su ser después de este evento.

El evento comienza al tiempo exacto, el salón virtual abrirá 15 minutos antes del evento, por favor de llegar al salón 15 minutos antes.

La entrada es $15.

 
Junio 4, 2017
 
Domingo 12pm – 1:30pm


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