Heartbreak by Ruth Kim
Sometimes. You break your own heart. Today is one of those days. # heartbreak
I felt that feeling. The sinking feeling that I’ve felt before. The feeling of “Oh, I’ve over given. I’ve done it again.” The part of the story that tells me I’m the one that loves but not in return. The feeling of “I knew better than to agree to something that felt like bullshit.” The part of the story that tells me I am willing to try at all cost to belong but not really belonging.
I’ve done this sick cycle over and over again. It feels like this time, I have the choice to interrupt the cycle myself. So I made the decision to quit, eject myself from the situation. I pulled the plug on my own heart. For my sake. Heartbreak.
I broke my own heart knowing of a deeper promise of love. That is to love myself at all costs. I have faith that what was broken will heal.
Here is a special reflection from Ruth written months after the poem was written:
Trust Her. She knows. Even in heartbreak, She knew it was the only way. The only way to move forward is to feel the heartbreak and be broken completely. I can choose to continue suffering or I can choose the freedom to have what I want. Both paths hurt. However, there is one path that teaches our heart that we are more than our heartbreak.
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